You’ve got your little creative business set up, and so far, everything is sweet as.
You’ve been reading all the business advice, creating your fantastically awesome art to sell, or writing your first novel, or choreographing your first dance routine, and reveling in your own creative awesomeness.
You’ve never been more excited. You’re nearly ready to launch your new idea to the world. But as you get closer and closer to completion, you realize there’s one problem you’ve overlooked.
You need to write some promotional material – a kick-ass sales page, a press release to decimate all other press releases, a brochure that will make the reader wonder how they ever survived without your creative genius in their life.
But you can’t write for peanuts.
Or cashew nuts. Or salted mademaia nuts. Or even a nice nutty pesto.
You are, to put it bluntly, useless at writing.
You’ve been hiding it well – fumbling your way through your product copy and celebrating your creative use of the comma, but you know that’s not going to cut it. Never mind the copyright – you’ve got to get your copy RIGHT.
Your future income and ability to buy peanuts depends on finding an audience and drawing them to you. And that audience will only come if they’re compelled. Your writing has to grab them by the collar and shout “You must see this show/buy this book/have that painting!”
You don’t need an uber-expensive all-inclusive marketing package, or a side-wide writing makeover, or a two-hour consulting session on the correct usage of a semi-colon.
You just need a press release or sales page that’s not crap.
You could spend hours researching how to write your page. You could read hundreds of blogs on marketing, or analyse successful sales pages and try and replicate what they’ve done. You could agonize over every comma and run-on sentence for hours, chewing up all your creative time and energy.
Or, you could pay me to agonize over it for you, and you could go have a cup of coffee.
The Tentacle is my no-frills, budget peanut butter writing package – 1 piece of writing up to 500 words. I’ll write anything you want, including:
- Press release
- Website bio
- Craft fair application form
- Sales page
- Tear sheet
- Aritst’s statement
- Blog post
- Website page
- Magazine query
- Thank you letter
For a measely $45 bucks I’ll turn your writing woes into peanut-butter generating copy.
You want a press release to wow journalists and get yourself covered in the national press? WHAM – there you go.
You want an artist’s statement that lands you an exhibit at that prestigious, hoity-toity uptown gallery? SLAP – done and dusted.
You want a sales page that skyrockets sales of your ebook to numbers only dreamed up by scammy internet marketers? SQUISH – you got it.
buy THE TENTACLE NOW!
Here’s how it works:
You tell me what you want. I ask a few silly questions. You might send me a few pictures. I might do a little voodoo dance. I email you a draft. You tell me how terrible it is. I then rewrite it into something perfect and awesome. You love it so much you send me flowers and chocolates and offers of marriage. I respectfully decline, although I do eat the chocolates.
Depending on my schedule, I can turn around most Tentacle jobs in a few days. I can accommodate most urgent jobs, but please email me first if you’re on a tight deadline.
Before I write a single word, I take the time to define your project’s needs and make sure I have all the information I need to do a good job.
I don’t just storm into writing with all pens blazing. I take the time to make sure I’m writing what you need.
Because I do all the hard work before I even put a single word on paper, I don’t normally need to do a lot of extensive editing. You get one full “do-over” if things go massively pear shaped, and as many small edits as you need to make your copy sparkle like a teenage vampire. Major additional edits may incur an added fee.
Don’t just take my word for it – here’s what my happy clients have to say:
“Amazing writer! Totally cleaned up what I was trying to say and made it better! Will use again – a must for any business owner!” – Stephey Baker – creative coach and transcentalist artist – Marked by the Muse.
“It’s exactly what I had in mind, only better. Perfection! Steff gives her all and you will be quite pleased with her work. I sure am!” – Jennifer Smith-Righter – artisan jewelry designer – Wearable By Design
“A pleasure to work with. Has an incredible talent that can make every listing sell itself. Highly recommend her services!! Thanks so much!” – Mary – maker of handmade aromatherapy bath and body products – Belle River Naturals
So, don’t waste any more of your precious creating time worrying about your marketing copy. Let me work my magic, and you can go back to procrastin
Buy THE TENTACLE NOW!
PS. There is, of course, a money-back guarantee. If you’re not happy with the service received while employing me as your writing goddess, and you agree not to use any of my writing, I’ll give you your money back, no questions asked.
PPS. Payment plans and customized packages are available. Shoot me an email and I’ll make you happy!