If you know me primarily as on online mistress of wit and wisdom, it may surprise you to learn that in real life, I’m painfully shy.

I’ve been meaning to ring the lovely beauty therapist who lives around the corner to book a waxing appointment for two months now, but the thought of calling up a stranger makes me so nervous I keep putting off. It was only when my husband noted without his usual humor that my legs look like punga logs and the cat started to look at me as if I were one of her kind that I had to relent and do it. And it was fine, but still, sometimes I wish I were a bit braver.

If this story sounds all too familiar, you probably hear the word “networking” and feel the urge to cower in the corner. For us introverts, walking into a room filled with people we don’t know and having to strike up conversation with them is the most terrifying thing on the planet. You might as well tell us Freddy Krueger’s the guest speaker, for all we want to go.

But eventually, dear introverts, we have to come out of our shell. Meeting other creative folk face-to-face offers untold rewards – greater than tweeting back and forth or answering quizzes about each other on Facebook. That human connection with other people in your industry will renew your spirit and push your business further ahead than you could imagine.

Here are my tips for Networking for Introverts.

Networking is Not High School

I think most of us introverts suffered from horrendous bullying / ostracisim / embarrassment during our formative years, and this further cements our personalities as the corner-sitters. We actomatically assume a room full of people will contain the same ratio of mean people as our old classroom.

Recently, I did something I’ve been putting off for five years because of my fear of meeting people, and I joined the NZ Authors Association and attended one of their local meetings. I was terrified, but the people were so kind and friendly and utterly nuts, I didn’t want to leave. Seriously, no one makes you laugh like other writers (especially writers who look upon famous sportspeaple writing books with mocking derision).
If you attend a group of people who share the same passions as you, chances are high you’re going to like them and they’re going to like you.

Don’t worry about talking: just listen

In scary networking situations, the introvert’s best weapon is our ability to make the less-introverted people feel . If you can get someone talking about their project, about their passion, and you can see that fire in their eyes, and you let them talk, stopping every now and then to ask an intelligent question – these are the people who go home and say to their spouse, “I made a new friend tonight.”

Your strength isn’t talking, it’s listening. And everyone wants someone to listen to them. Don’t try and be heard in the big groups – find yourself someone in the corner and allow them to tell you their life story.

Learn to ask questions

This goes with listening – learn to ask questions that get people talking (so you don’t have to!) Avoid questions that require a simple “yes-no” answer. When talking to authors I love to ask “What do you write?” “What are you working on right now?” and “What was your inspiration for this peice?”

Give yourself mini-challenges

Whenever I’m faced with an impossible task, I’ll break the task down into small, manageable chunks. Then I’ll present each chunk to myself as a mini-challenge.

So, for my Authors Association meeting, my first challenge was to sign up for membership – that was easy – I filled in a form online. Then I had to decide to go to a monthly meeting – I chose the date of the next one, noted an author I really like would be speaking, wrote it in my diary, and told my husband I was going. Sometimes telling someone you’re going gives you a great confidence boost.

Then, my next challenge was to get on the right bus. When you’re blind like me, this is a REAL challenge. After that, I had to find the right building. I was so busy dealing with each of these challenges, I didn’t have time to feel nervous until I entered the room.

Once there, I challenged myself to strike up conversations with the people around me, to turn around and insert myself into a conversation when I heard writers talking about subjects that interested me. I challenged myself to thank the organizers for having me, and to go up to the speaking author afterward and talk to her.

Eye contact

Make it! And sit up straight! Standing tall and proud help you look and feel confident!

Prepare

Learn the names and faces of the speaking panel, or read up in advance about the subjects you’ll be discussing. A bit of knowledge behind you will help you feel confident voicing your opinions.

Remember they’re just people

However nervous I am when I meet people in a room, I’m a hundred million times more nervous and tongue-tied when I meet an artist / writer / musician whose work I admire. When meeting famous people in your circle, it’s important to remember that they dedicate a certain amount of time to interacting with fans and, as long as you’re not trying to hug them over dinner, you’re not an annoyance to them. Again, practice asking questions – what’s their next project? What was their inspiration? I like to ask musicians if they’re enjoying New Zealand.

Are you an introvert? How do you handle meeting people in person? What are you tips for dealing with tongue-tied nerves?

Never miss an article on the Grymm & Epic artistic community by signing up for the Grymm & Epic Gazette. Not only do you get my FREE ebook, “Unleash the Beast: Release Your Inner Creative Monster”, you’ll also get a weekly dose of creative inspiration delivered right to your inbox. Wicked!

When I was starting out on my mission to conquer the Internet world via Grymm & Epic, Ali of Aliventures was one of the first people to support this project. That’s how I first found her site and I’ve been learning and loving it ever since.

Ali is a lovely, kind and easy-going writer who started off making a full-time income writing paid blogs for sites like Daily Writing Tips. She now coaches writers, writes and sells ebooks on writing (including the awesome Bloggers’ Guide to Freelancing), creates amazing writing e-courses, and is about to self-publish her first novel about what happens when the world of Geekdom becomes very, very real.

General

Firstly, we just want to know who you are, and what you do. Can you share your journey from mini-Ali to Aliventures?

Sure! As a teenager, I knew I wanted to be a writer. I worked on a really bad sci-fi novel in my mid-teens, holing up in the school library in my lunch-hours. (I wasn’t the most sociable of kids…)

Read On…

If you’re on the mailing list (and you should be – it’s grand. It’s even going to be pirate-themed this week) you’ll know that my book, the Grymm & Epic Guide to Blogging, is part of the World-Changing Writing Workshops. I’m so proud my work is included amongst these other amazing writers – Pam Slim, SARK, Aliventures, Johnny B Truant, Mark Silver … and, of course, Pace and Kyeli, the workshop creators and world-changers of awesome.

If you were THINKING about registering, but you’ve been humming and harring, DO IT NOW. Not only are these workshops absolutely amazing, but, if you register in the next few hours, you get the early bird price of $297. Shortly, the price goes up to $445, so don’t miss out.

I did the workshops last year, and I’m doing them again this year, and even though I’ve been writing and publishing for YEARS, I still learn oodles. And I’m over on the forums, so you can pick my brain, but not in a gross way.

If you don’t know what the World Changing Writing Workshop is, here’s the low-down:

he world is in pain.

A woman stays up until 2 A.M. watching crappy TV, because she dreads going into work in the morning.

A boy is beaten up at school because he dresses differently than his schoolmates.

An entrepreneur works 14-hour days, 7 days a week, struggling to support his family.

A single mother picks her son and daughter up from daycare. The kids screech and hit each other. She screams at them to stop, nearly wrecking the car.

How can you help? What can you do?

You can write.

That woman reads a book that shows her what she’s missing in her life, and inspires her to go out and find it.

That boy reads a blog about bullying and finds the courage to stand up for himself.

That entrepreneur reads an ebook on productivity, puts it into practice, and is able to make ends meet and spend more time with his family.

That single mother reads an article on how to handle a fight between your children. The next time her son and daughter yell and hit each other, she steps between them, takes a deep breath, and asks them, “What’s wrong, my darlings?”

The world needs to hear the message that is within your heart.

You can make a difference. You can change the world, one reader at a time. And in the World-Changing Writing Workshop, you’ll learn exactly what you need to know to make it happen. And we’ll break it down into six manageable steps for you.

The Six Steps to World-Changing Writing

  1. Write.
  2. Find your voice.
  3. Find your audience.
  4. Find support.
  5. Grow.
  6. Set your intention.

We’ve gathered six experts who, along with the two of us, will guide you through these six steps. We hand-picked each expert because of their knowledge and experience in one of these six steps to world-changing writing. Together, we’ll teach you what you need to know, and you’ll be able to write and inspire with skill and confidence.

“I thought it was amazing. Truly. The quality was directly related to the superstar speakers you got. They were wonderful.”

Megan Matthieson, idanceiwrite.com

The How, the Where, and the When

The entire World-Changing Writing Workshop is virtual — it’s conducted entirely online or via phone. You don’t need to travel or even leave the comfort of your own pajamas. The Workshop consists of 7 hour-long live sessions: you can call in on the phone or listen to them on the web. Each session is hosted by Kyeli and Pace, and consists of a presentation by the featured speaker followed by a brief Q&A period. After the session is over, you can download the recording and listen to it later. You’ll also get a complete transcript of each class, including an index of the key concepts.

The Who and the What


Do you yearn to be a writer, but you don’t know where to start?

Do you wish you could get into the flowing state where fun flows through your fingers and onto the page, instead of stressing out about a deadline?

Do you wish you could turn off your internal critic and just write?

Introducing SARK!

SARK is a best-selling author and artist, with sixteen titles in print and well over two million books sold, including Juicy Pens, Thirsty Paper. She’s an acclaimed speaker and teacher, and has been teaching and leading workshops for over twenty years.

You’re sitting on a treasure. You contain amazing, world-changing gifts that you may not even realize are special, because they are simply part of who you are. SARK will teach you how to go digging for gold, and then teach you how you can share your treasure with the world.

She’ll show you how to write and share what’s in your heart — the most effective way to move and inspire others, whether you’re writing fiction, non-fiction, blog posts, or books. If you know that a writer lives within you but you don’t know how or where to start, or if you need new ways to work past your blocks and be reinspired — SARK will help you start the ink flowing and keep it going.

On June 16, 2011, SARK will teach you how to get your words out of your heart and onto the paper.


Do you want to encourage others to not just share your vision, but to jump in and help make it happen?

Do you struggle to communicate complex concepts to your readers in a way that really lands?

Do you want to inspire others with your writing and build your business/readership/authority at the same time?

Introducing Pam Slim!

Pamela Slim is an experienced writer, speaker, and coach. She’s the author of Escape from Cubicle Nation, the Best Small Business/Entrepreneur Book of 2009, and she’s studied teaching, training, and development for many years.

Pam will show you how to teach and explain with your writing: how to break down hard-to-understand concepts into chunks that your readers will gobble up, digest, master, and thank you for the pleasure.

She’ll show you how to inspire and persuade with your writing: how to get your readers to stand up and cheer when they read what you write, and then, how to get them to go out and do something about it.

She’ll explain how you can know which style of writing — explanatory or persuasive — is called for in different situations, and how you can weave the two together like a braid. She’ll show you the upside and the downside of “preaching to the choir”.

On June 23, 2011, Pam will show you how to write, teach, and inspire.


Are you having trouble getting your work in front of the right readers?

Is your writing scattered or fragmented? Do you have trouble unifying your writing into a coherent theme?

Are your readers lazy or indifferent? Do you wish they would sing your praises and share your work with others?

Introducing Mark Silver!

Mark Silver is a fourth-generation entrepreneur, coach, consultant, mentor, writer, and Sufi Master Teacher. His weekly writings and teachings are followed by thousands of people around the globe. He is the author of seven different in-depth programs and a number of other smaller teachings and classes for entrepreneurs. Together they form a comprehensive entrepreneurial wisdom academy curriculum.

Mark will show you how to find your ideal readers, then turn them into raving fans. Then, he’ll show you how to collect all your various articles, scribblings, blog posts, journal entries, and other offerings, and build them into a comprehensive body of work. With each piece of your writing serving as a pillar of a beautiful, solid structure, it becomes something greater than the sum of its parts, and your readers will feel that strength and solidness. They will lean into you, trusting you. They will become not just readers, but raving fans.

There is a saying from Mark’s spiritual tradition, “Be the earth for your brothers and sisters. Hold them up as they walk their path.”

On June 30, 2011, Mark will teach you how to be the earth for your readers.


Do you suffer from writer’s block?

Do you have trouble writing sustainably over the long haul with quality and sanity?

Do you have trouble sticking to what you start and finishing it?

Introducing Patti Digh!

Patti Digh of 37days.com is the author of 6 books, including the best-sellingLife is a Verb. She is a co-founder of The Circle Project, which uses art, story, and theatre to help individuals build more inclusive communities that connect, collaborate, and create. She’s a mother, a speaker, and a writer.

She’ll teach you how you can build a community to support you – and one you can learn from, too. Patti has helped her readers form a community around her work, and now they’re not only loyal fans, but they actively contribute material to her books. She’ll show you how you can do the same thing for your audience.

But before you can even get started on building a community around your writing, you must acknowledge this simple truth: You can’t change the world with your writing if you don’t write.Writer’s block, procrastination, distraction: any of these things can sneak up behind you and nip your writing in the bud before it has a chance to blossom into the world.

That’s why Patti will teach you her secret to writing consistently without whining. She’ll show you how to get yourself out of the way so you can write, how to stick to a publishing schedule, and how to start writing a book, in baby steps, without feeling like you have to sequester yourself away from the world on a writing retreat. She’ll teach you a trick or two for getting started, and show you how you can reconnect with “writing space” when outside issues try to disconnect you.

On July 7, 2011, Patti will teach you how to make sure your writing gets done.


Do you hold back from putting your writing out there, because you’re afraid it would feel like cracking open your soul and letting everyone see it?

Do you have trouble pinpointing a theme or topic to write about?

Do you wish you could find your voice and write authentically without sounding fake or stilted?

Introducing Bindu Wiles!

Bindu is an accomplished writing coach and life coach with an MFA in creative non-fiction from Sarah Lawrence College. She has been a student of Buddhism for 20 years. She recently completed a 300 page memoir which is in the works for publication, and is currently at work on a book of essays on female to male cross-dressing.

Bindu will show you how to approach the blank page, cultivate the Muse, and get out of your own way. Using techniques and explorations off the page, away from the desk, and that have little to do with writing in the moment, she will lead you into the ability to get your story going and tell your truths. She is particularly interested in the ways that people feel silenced and helping them break through those silences.

Once your story is flowing, she will show you how to keep things moving. She will address issues of conceptual mind, the subconscious, safety, authenticity, and the basic bravery each writer must develop everyday.

On July 14, 2011, Bindu will help you find your courage and find your voice.


Do you want to make a living as a writer?

Do you want to channel the writing you love into something that could support you?

Do you want to develop a blog into something that could help people and earn income?

Introducing Ali Luke!

Ali Luke of Aliventures is a professional writer, freelancer, and blogger. She is the author of The Blogger’s Guide to Effective Writing and The Blogger’s Guide to Freelancing, and she coaches writers, helping them unlock their potential and take their writing to the next level. She’ll soon be publishing her first novel.

Ali makes a living from her writing, and she’ll show you how you can do it too. She’ll guide you through the various paths to making money from writing, including freelancing, article writing, ebook writing, staff blogging, book publishing, and getting hired as a columnist. She’ll tell you which of these paths pay but don’t create too much tension on your ideal writing lifestyle.

She’ll show you how to successfully launch a blog and how you can use it to create revenue. She’ll explain what to do with your writing after you’ve created it: how to market the finished product and how best to communicate the work to the world.

On July 21, 2011, Ali will teach you how to make a living as a writer.


Do you wish you could polish your rough drafts into finished works that shine and inspire?

Do you have trouble taking constructive criticism, or finding people who will give it to you in a useful way?

Do you wish you could keep motivated and stay positive when you’re not caught up in the energy of an awesome writing workshop?

Introducing Pace & Kyeli!

We’re not only the hosts, we’ve also got some very important things to teach you! But first, allow us to introduce ourselves.

We’ve written a book, The Usual Error: Why We Don’t Understand Each Other And 34 Ways To Make It Better. We’ve written an eBook, 52 Weeks to Awesome. And we’ve written the Connection Manifesto. We’re honored to say that each of these works, in different ways, has changed the world.

You can grow a lot as a world-changing writer over the course of seven weeks, but you’ll grow even more if you learn how to continue improving throughout the year. We’ll teach you how to workshop your writing until it’s awesome, how to find writing buddies who will lift you up (and how to ditch the ones who bring you down), and how to turn the oomph you’re getting from this workshop into sustainable motivation and writing energy.

On July 28, 2011, we’ll teach you how to continue improving when we’re not around.

Oh! And since there are two of us, we get two sessions. We also recorded a special session of the Workshop — on how to make your writing make a difference, not just be more noise. In other words, on changing the world with your writing.

You’ll get that recording as part of the Workshop as well.

(this is all on the site, and more. I didn’t want to rewrite it because it’s all perfect.)

And there are oodles of freebies too! Including my little blogging book, paired with a wicked deal where Johnny B Truant, who is a blogging bad-ass, will set up your new blog for you.

All this for $297. You’d pay that to hear one of these guys speak for an hour at a conference. It’s not that much, really. Think of it as an investment, like really nice designer shoes – in fact, when you compare it to nice designer shows, $297 sounds pretty bloody cheap, actually.

$297. For the next few hours. Do it. Doooooooo it. Register here.

(PS. I am an affiliate of the World-Changing Writing Workshops, but I’d recommend them even if I wasn’t. They will change how you think about writing).

13 Dec 2010


Writing: Fighting the Blank Page

Author: Steff | No Comments

This is a guest post by the fabulous Ali of Aliventures, who makes me feel super awesome because I’m not the only one who listens to Turisas while writing non-fiction.

Do musicians have to tidy the entire house before they can face playing a note?

Do painters stare in dismay at the blank canvas for an hour before making the first pencil mark?

I don’t actually know; my creativity has never lent itself to music or painting. But writers certainly seem particularly likely to get stuck before they’ve even started. I’ve never spoken to a writer who always – or even regularly – sat down and started writing without any feelings of resistance.

There’s a couple of major reasons why.

Read On…